Peeling Away the Shiny
by DarkSlayer1
Summary: 3rd season B.C. (Before Connor) Cordelia thinks about life and how she got to where she was from where she used to be.


Title: Peeling Away the Shiny  
  
Series: Misfits Among Misfits  
  
Summary: Musing.sorta. Cordy reflects on her life and realizes something.  
  
Rating: PG for some cursing  
  
Pairing: A/C in some places.oh come on! She is just realizing what all of us girls have known for a lllloooonnnnggggg time, Angel is hot.  
  
Spoilers: er not many, in fact since this takes place in the third season none at all. Oh and hey this is a BC fic (Before Connor) cause right now with the whole Cordy-is-evil-and-sleeping-with-the-brat-and-now-in-a-coma story line I have found whole new levels of unhappiness that I blame on him.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these guys Joss Whendon does cause he is just God.  
  
AN: Its from Cordy's POV cause she's just fun to write, and I got the idea for the birthday part from when Cordy asked how many candles to put on his cake. The batman part is from another fic of mine that I will put up soon and the numerous batman comments all over the show.  
  
I can't believe this is where my life is. Its usually more hectic than this. That's why I cant sleep, cause at this time.2:00 am.I should be at the office trying to stop the latest big bad. But I'm not; I'm sitting at my kitchen table looking at relics of what was once my life. Cheerleading trophies with the shiny peeling off. If you look you can see the black underneath the pretty shiny smiling cheerleader. Like you could with me back then.  
  
I loved me. They wanted me. They worshipped me. They hated me. I was a highschool goddess, a teenage fashion plate. I knew what I wanted, fame, fortune, and a husband as good looking as me. Those who could offer me none of these things I was a total bitch to. And I did not care. It's been three years. And I know I've changed. A lot. I was the bitchest girl in Sunnydale and I had no concern for anyone else but myself. I can actually understand why people would hate me, I was a teenage Lilah Morgan and I had no idea that what I was doing was wrong.  
  
Today.well I have to say I'm totally pleased with myself. I save lives and yet have not lost my cunning knack for bargain hunting in a store that I could not possibly afford anything in. And the whole seer gig isn't that bad I mean yeah, splitting migraines from hell-er-heaven (or where ever the PTB are) not so good but there are perks. Like a seriously dreamy good vampire with THE best taste in clothes asking you if you're okay. And okay the whole staying up in the middle of the night wondering if your boss was going to come back in his car or a Hoover vacuum, can suck beyond all reason. But then there is the whole patching up the uberhottie after a big fight, and eeeeeewwwwww a lot of blood involved with that last one but that's okay. Cause he doesn't care. He doesn't care about what I've done or said or been. Yeah, okay, so it's mostly cause he's done worse in his life than I could comprehend but that's where I come in. I don't care cause the past is the past, and you have to face your fears, and an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and acuna matata, and all that seriously pointless stuff written by a non existent 'them' and Disney.  
  
I don't think Buffy ever knew him. I know everything about him. For example: his favorite color is green, he wears boxers, he LOVES chocolate, and is possibly the most self conscious person on the planet, he likes his blood microwaved with cinnamon, even if he denies it, and his secret idol is Batman. Okay so that last one took a lot of coaxing to get out of him, but the fact is he told me--eventually, and he told me because he knows that I care about what he likes. But Buffy never knew him. It dawned on me that the star-crossed lovers were just lovers and never friends when his birthday came around. You see, his birthday is a time we at Angel Investigations cherish, but Angel hates. So we always end up celebrating, I would just like to add that I came up with the system to make his cake a non-fire hazard. Anyways, here I was preparing everything, has anyone ever noticed I do most of the stuff around here? Oh never mind, its not like I will ever say anything.ARGH! Focus Cor! Right, well, I was expecting a total brood fest from our resident Master of the art of Depression so I waited to intercept a .something.anything.from the Slayer, Duchess of Buffonia. But nothing came. A week later still nothing so I went and asked Angel. It turns out she doesn't know his birthday. I dug a little deeper, which means I asked willow, and it turns out she doesn't know diddly about Angel, her true love.  
  
No she just saw Angel as the silent, mysterious, hottie that stood behind her, whose whole life revolved around her. And what is sad is that she expected him to stay that way. If she knew what has happened in the last 3 years she would have a hissy. Angel has changed ssssssssoooooooo much since he left. He actually smiles and damn! That man.pire has a totally hot smile, mmmm yummy Angel goodness. okay cant think that way, cause as clueless as Buffy may be, she holds that special place in his heart. Stupid blonde bitch. There are times I really hate that girl. But there is something I know I have that Buffy will never have, his friendship.  
  
Not that he is my only friend, nope I have a whole cache of wierdos to call my own. Lets see, Wesley, a fellow Sunnydale refugee whos obsession with musty books rivals Giles. Yup a good guy to call a friend, especially when you are trying to fight back the forces of darkness and you want to know every thing from eating to grooming habits about the forces of darkness. He's not as bad as Giles when it comes to looks, even though his kissing is just.ew.  
  
Gunn, ya know if I got some designer clothes on that boy he would be SO my taste, but alas, he has eyes for little miss I laugh at the jokes that bushes make. Well he calls me Barbie, which sucks beyond reckoning, but hey at least its better than Princess, which I am called far too much or for that matter Lassie.  
  
Speaking of Lassie is miss I walk the fine line between brilliance and insanity with a song in my heart. Fred. Ohboy, now don't get me wrong she is great, and smart and is as sweet as they get, she can just get a little overwhelming at times. Okay most times.she just sorta reminds me of Willow and how I would have stomped on a girl like Fred with my Prada heels and made her feel so unworthy she would become invisible. She reminds me of why I'm here, but hey she IS growing on me.  
  
So I have a low-paying job working for a man who may just think that Black is the only color acceptable on clothing. And I have no fame, other than in the Demon community, or for that matter fortune outside of a way-to-rich fanboy who may be in love with me. My friends are all freaks in their own ways. My love life is practically nonexistent outside of a demon pregnancy and fawning over my aforementioned boss. And my entire life in my hometown can be summed up in a few Cheerleading trophies with the shiny peeling off.  
  
My life rocks.  
  
Trophies be damned.  
  
AN: What do you think? Did it sound like her? Should I write more from the POVs of the rest of the gang? Cause if you say yes (and I get enough reviews) this could turn into into a series.ooooohhhh ooooohhhh!!!!!! Idea! This could turn into a crossover with BtVS! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or I will have to send my minions of darkness after you! I can get minions of darkness!!!!!!!! 


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